


slorp

by OrganizedDecay



Series: Riem's food discourse Ultimate Win Technique [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: I have no regrets, Keith and Shiro are Adoptive Siblings, M/M, Milk, Pining, Pining Keith (Voltron), Pining Lance (Voltron), Pre-Relationship, Shiro is Tired, broganes, hes very cute, keith is lactose intolerant, kinda ooc bcos lance for once indulges keiths lack of impulse control, lance loves milk, milk discourse (which im winning btw), minor shiro/slav, shiro's Keith Is In Trouble senses are tingling, slav is human bcos its a modern au, they bond over their adoration for calcium, this fic sat for a month in my drafts and now it finally gets to see the light of the day, truly a supportive almost-boyfriend, yall made me use my ultimate weapon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-10
Updated: 2017-10-07
Packaged: 2018-12-25 23:30:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12046557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OrganizedDecay/pseuds/OrganizedDecay
Summary: keith catches lance drinking milkmistakes ensue





	1. Chapter 1

It was a hot, sunny afternoon when Lance finally decided to leave his bedroom and enter the kitchen. Thin material of his tank-top clung to his skin unpleasantly and so were his blue, star printed boxers and his short hair.

He looked around with bleary eyes until his sight reached the fridge. A tiny, weary smile graced his face as he shuffled towards it and opened it.

Cool breeze was indeed refreshing  but it wasn’t enough to fully wake him up.

No. He needed something better than this.

His eyes skimmed through multiple products stored in it until they stopped abruptly, finding what their owner was searching for. He reached for it and smiled giddily.

The carton was blue and deceivingly plain looking, a small, happily smiling cow was printed on the front and the back, right above the bold, sunny yellow letters. Lance opened it and, checking if no one was nearby to scold him for not taking a glass, started chugging with pure delight.

Ah, _milk_.

Healthy, multifunctional, tasty _milk_.

Milky milk.

Milkity milk milk.

_Milk._

**_Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmilk_ **

**_ Yum yum yum-milk  _ **

>   * **_Yumilk_**
> 


_hte molke_

The boy could feel his bones growing stronger and his mind working better, heavy fog of sleepiness fading as if by help of a magical wand, each sip was like a kiss from Jesus himself. A kissus. Pure, white, cow energy empowered by calcium was slowly filling his stomach and spreading throughout his body, Metaphysical Milk Haters (MMH) screamed in agony as it drowned them in its creamy goodness. You could almost hear their

“What the fuck”.

Lance stopped, mortified. Not letting go of carton, he looked at the unexpected intruder.

It was Keith. His hair were dishevelled even more than usually and he wore his fanny packs over his red pyjamas. Hot and sweaty as ever.

Lance swallowed and took the carton away from his lips.

“Is there, mmm(ilk), something wrong?” he asked innocently, though his palms begun to sweat and he could hear his heartbeat picking up its pace. He never knew what Keith’s opinion on milk was but he was aware that his ex-rival, current roommate and (hopefully) soon to be boyfriend never came in contact with it during their shared meals.

Keith seemed hesitant.

“Is… Is this milk?” he whispered conspiratorially. Lance blinked once, twice. The other boy kept his gaze on him and so Lance, by sheer force of his personality’s nature, didn’t break the contact. Weird staring contest lasted for next few minutes, stopped by Lance’s slow, careful nod (his eyes god a bit too dry, dammit).

Keith smiled and his eyes shone like two navy rocks, shaped like human eyes and very shiny. It was beautiful and Lance could feel his breath hitch.

“Can I try?” Keith asked hopefully and  Lance looked at him, completely shocked.

“Wait, you’ve never tried milk?!”

Keith shrugged in response. “Shiro told me it was bad for my stomach so everything I ate had to be lactose free” he admitted sheepishly and Lance couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. He laid his hand on his arm and smiled tentatively and Keith blushed.

“It’s okay, he’s off on a date with Slav, I won’t tell anyone you drank it” he whispered conspiratorially and winked.

Keith took the carton.

* * *

 

Meanwhile Shiro and his soon-to-be-husband Slav sat in  a quaint, little café, enjoying their hot drinks and a hearty piece of apple pie. After long two weeks of seeing each other only in passing due to the workload they had to deal with, they finally got some free time for each other and Shiro was content to hold his fiancé’s hand while the other chattered excitedly about his latest project. He looked at the other male with a dopey smile and was about to respond something to him when he felt it.

The tingling in his left calf.

He quickly let go of Slav’s hand, resulting in a sudden stop to his story, and bent down. Slowly, he rolled up his pant leg. Exactly like he thought, the goose bumps made his hair stand straight. He quickly rolled his trousers down and sat up. His fiancé looked at him, worried.

“Are your Keith senses tingling again?” he asked, fidgeting with his hands and Shiro smiled sadly and nodded, taking his jacket off of the seat.

“Guess we’ll have to put a rain check on our date honey, I’m really sorry” he apologised and peck Slav on the cheek before dashing out of the café.

Something bad was about to happen.

* * *

 

They lied on the floor in the kitchen. Stacks of empty cartons and plastic containers lied around them, a jar half-filled with yoghurt rolled away from Keith’s hand and he whimpered, trying to stretch and reach the thing without changing his position too much. Beside him, Lance was finishing his sixth bowl of milk cereals with extra milk. It was very milky.

“Can you feel the calcium strengthening your bones” he asked, as he threw the bowl to the side. It smashed into little pieces.

Keith barely moved his head to look up at him “hand me mah yohurt” he slurred, making grabby hands at him.

Lance was about to stand up, when the door to the kitchen burst open revealing a very distressed Shiro.

“I HAVE ARRIVED” he yelled, doing the hero pose™. Both boys looked at him in terror. There was a pause during which they all looked at each other in complete silence,  the three of them slowly processing the situation they were all in.

Suddenly Keith seemed to lose any remnants of his previous sluggishness. He jumped into a crouching position and stared at his brother wildly.

“YOU WONT TAKE ME ALIVE, I HAVE THE POWER OF GOD _AND_ ANIME ON MY SIDE” he yelled  and before either Shiro or Lance could do anything he dived for his yoghurt, immediately damping the rest of it into his mouth. He threw away the jar and instantly jumped onto the counter and emptied out the leftover container of sour cream, while Shiro woke up from his stupor and launched at Keith to catch him.  The boy tried to escape but he got caught by his leg right before he managed to leap down.

“LANCE, HELP ME” he screamed desperately as he trashed in his brothers arms. Lance looked at him, his eyes showing how big of a battle he had to fight with himself. Finally, he stood up and looked at Keith.

“You have to promise me, that you won’t treat me differently if I do” he pleaded, keeping his fists close to his body..

“Lance, don’t” Shiro tried to interrupt, his arms tightening around Keith, as the other failed at trying to jab his elbow into his stomach. The boy smiled wobbly and a little laugh escaped his mouth

“Oh Lance, I will love you no matter what” he confessed. Lance looked at him, shocked, then smiled back brightly. Suddenly, he started changing. Shiro dropped Keith to the ground, and the boy ran up to Lance.

“Lance?!  Lance what is happening?!” he asked franticly. He couldn’t stand close to him for long though, his brother tried to catch him again and so he had to dart to the side to avoid his strong, manly arms.

The fight ensued while Lance’s body folded and grew, slowly changing its colour. Legs turned into hooves, a thin tail with a small ball of fur grew out, body got covered in patches of black and white.

“I love you too Keith” the boy managed to say before the transformation ended “now jump on me!”

“NO!” yelled Shiro as Keith launched across the counter and bestrode the majestic cow that now stood where his friend and the love of his life has been before. The animal moved and soon it barrelled through the wall and onto the streets.

Shiro tried running after them but he couldn’t catch up to the couple.

Soon, the cow and it’s young rider disappeared down the road, into the slowly setting sun.

 


	2. mmmmMMM

I FUCKING CALLED IT BITCHES

**Author's Note:**

> I FUCKING WON BITCHES


End file.
